Yogurt and Bloggery

Some blogs will show you handsomely executed works of homemaking art. Recipes and sewing projects and sparkling clean children obeying their parents.

Do I sound disgruntled yet? I was talking bloggery with a friend last night and she said she skips over those blogs. I skip over them, too, unless I'm feeling unusually ambitious. It's depressing to compare yourself to another woman and realize that she's just better at everything.

 I joked that no one would never have to worry about that on my blog.

 And I hereby publicly declare, that you will never read my blog and think, "she's good at everything." Just the important things!

 Here are the things I am good at:

• Spelling - but you will probably still typos and missed wrods (ha ha see what I did their)
• Making fun of myself - but I'm kind of an easy target
• Making fun of other people - probably not a good thing
• Driving - Like most drivers, I am above average
• Figuring out why you have a problem with your insurance policy - limited usefulness
• Cooking meat - which I have to take on faith, because I'm a vegetarian

Here are the things I am bad at:

• Cooking rice - unless you like crunchy rice
• Cleaning things  -  I cannot tell you how many times my husband had walked over and started cleaning something. That I had just cleaned. I swear.
• Making small talk - I am the queen of awkward silences. I've come to enjoy them. It's cruel. Maybe I should put that I am good at awkward silences instead of I am bad at small talk? Hmm.
• Being assertive - I do it, but badly. It's either the "actually no I will not put up with this" red-faced whisper-voiced stutter, or the "I've put up with this quietly for a long time and today I am a fire-breathing dragon and you are toast" hysterical victory
• Recognizing people - I have a really hard time recognizing people's faces, unless they are sitting in the exact same place I saw them last time and wearing the same clothes and shoes and drinking out of the same Dunkin Donuts cup.
• Buying people presents they'll like - see This Post
• Leading children in song - which fortunately, I am only called upon to do every two weeks.

But every now and then, the homemaking bug hits me, so I decided to make yogurt last night, in my crockpot. I had done it before and it usually turned out, plus, I followed the directions, mostly. Michael called me this morning and informed me that it was just lukewarm milk. SIGH. It sure wasn't this post, which begins, You can make Yogurt in your crockpot! You can! You really, really can! I can't! I really, really can't... necessarily, all of the time, except in theory.

Oh and Elliott flushed a sock down the toilet, and tried to stop himself but his hand had a mind of its own and listened instead to the sock which, he stated, desired to be flushed.