The One Thing I Didn't Realize I'd Need...

"Me time," something all mothers joke/dramatically complain about not having, is something I apparently had a little of, because now it's REALLY gone.

My place to scream, or sing along really loud to music. A time to be irrational and hysterical.

I don't really do the emotional thing because I find it embarrassing. Most of my meltdowns happen in bed, and there's no talking. Michael will feel the mattress shaking with sobs and wrap his arms around me.
 
This morning I woke up late, so the typical morning routine was severely compressed. Driving in to work, which is a 30 minute commute, I did the following things:

• Ate my breakfast
• Fed my son breakfast (a healthy breakfast, she added, patting herself on the back...)
• Fixed my hair
• Put on my makeup (with my eyes on the road, yes my mascara is frightening)
• Brushed my teeth
• Gave my son a nebulizer treatment for his asthma
• Picked a piece of apple peel out of my son's teeth
• Handed Elliott a toothbrush so he could brush his teeth
• Tracked the number of miles I had driven since the gas tank light came on.
• Dropped Elliott off at preschool
• Raced to work like a madwoman
• Sauntered in with my sunglasses on, just before 8:30

 Today, on my drive home, I do not have to stop and pick up the child - he's already home. Obviously, I have to get gas. But I plan to take full advantage of the commute. I intend to do the following things as I drive home:

• Drive slowly
• Turn the music all the way up
• Scream loudly / cry hysterically / possibly swear a little
• Hyperventilate
• Wear sunglasses so my fellow drivers can be blissfully unaware of the full extent of my insanity

Here's hoping my big crazy display of emotion will last me a few months.