Awkward!

Awkwardness at the Ballet

Last Friday, after the Great Escape (and subsequent ice cream dinner), my mom and I went to see the ballet at SPAC.

I don’t know anything about dancing, so I can’t review the performances. We were in the 13th row and I had a great view of ballerinas doing their thing. It was a little warm, everyone was using the programs as fans, and I don’t think it got comfortably cool until the performances were drawing to a close. But I can say that I really enjoyed my night out! Especially the last number, with the Leonard Bernstein music and the sailor theme – kind of slapstick and cute. Anyway, around 9PM, after an abstract romantic dance that was a little too artsy-fartsy for me to appreciate, I was getting sleepy and I think Mom was, too. So she offered to get us an iced coffee to split – sweet!

We got our coffee during intermission and looked for a place to sit down – only one empty spot, where someone had left a cup with a couple of ice cubes, rather than tossing their garbage out. Tsk tsk! We sat and argued over how much sugar and cream to put in the coffee, settling for a little sweeter than I like, but not quite as sweet as Mom likes. She stuffed the garbage in the empty cup. (Oh, can you see where I’m going with this? Then maybe YOU’VE run into the Crazy Cup Lady before, too…)

About 10 minutes later, a small woman in her 50s passed by, a searching, desperate look in on her face. Her gaze fell on the cup stuffed with garbage. She gasped. Mom smiled politely. I raised an eyebrow and sort of smiled but not really.

“My… cup…” She said, eyes growing wide with shock.

My mom, clearly wanting to say, “Are you SERIOUS?” instead replied with, “Sorry?”

“I only went--” and her she sucked in a long, shuddering breath “to the bathroom!!”

Crazy Cup Lady stood, drooping and broken, and stared at us.

I gaped back, feeling my eyebrow stuck in the “what the heck” position, but had to break eye contact to avoid bursting out in laughter.

“It was just sitting here,” Mom said flatly.

Crazy Cup Lady whispered something to herself and slunk away.

I started to giggle. Mom stared after her for a moment. We got up and wandered back to our seats, ready to catch the Leonard Bernstein performance. She tossed the garbage cup in the trash.

I patted her shoulder. “Guess we can’t leave empty disposable cups within arms reach, Mom. You’ll just treat them like garbage.”

She shook her head.


Awkwardness in the Bathroom

Well, we’ve been living with my parents for 110 days (not that I’m keeping count…) which means that 6 people have been sharing the bathroom for 110 days, which means that we’ve had a pretty good run.

If you are faint of heart, be assured that the following awkward moment does not involve nudity or poop.

Last night, I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom as Michael turned off the DVD player and computer, so I knew he would be up to brush his teeth as well. I heard him knock on the door so I said “come on in!”

Except who comes on in but my dad, shuffling and half asleep, blinded by the bathroom lights, and completely unaware that I’m the one who invited him in. Maybe he thought it was my mom? Who was lying asleep in the bed he just climbed out of? Not sure.

He leaned toward the toilet.

AAAHHHH!!!! screamed my brain. With my mouth full of toothpaste, I sputtered, “Dad just let me leave first!”

He blinked, sleepy and confused, and continued to lean forward.

Ready to bolt, it was then I noticed that he was leaning forward… toward the back of the toilet… where the box of Kleenex was sitting… to pluck a tissue from the box… and shuffle back to bed.

Note: the shuffle mentioned above is the “half asleep shuffle,” not the “old person shuffle.”

I also noticed that Michael had been standing in the hallway laughing silently. Clearly, he didn’t recognize the gravity of a situation where I a) almost had a heart attack b) almost choked to death on toothpaste or c) almost knocked my dad over fleeing the bathroom. Fortunately, I was able to relax with a nervous, slightly crazy, fit of laughter.